Zoey Solitaire

PASS THIS ON.

johndarnielle:

fangirlnerd101:

queen-nubiana:

The first transgender suicide hotline is now up and running in the U.S. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.

With trump winning this is especially important. Please reblog even if it “doesn’t fit your blog theme”

please do whatever you can to be as ok as you can be. I reblog this in the names of my friends who didn’t make out of earlier darker times. most of you who read or hear my stuff know their names. quinn. brad. emil. rozz. many more. you are missed and I will love you forever. 

Posted 3 months ago With 381,845 notes

How to tell if you are emotionally abusive

mangoluvah:

alexaunderground:

elizabethalexis:

lora-mathis:

annnmoody:

fuckyeahwomenprotesting:

I feel we talk about signs of abuse from the victims standpoint but not from the abusers standpoint. In order to stop emotional abuse and recognize when we engage in unhealthy behaviors I made this list.

• Do you react to important people in your life by ignoring them completely and not acknowledging their presence? Especially if they do something you don’t like?

• Do you feel that your partner/friends/family members are the cause of your bad moods or frustration?

• Does your partner/etc “do things the wrong way”?

• Do criticize your partner/etc for being unreliable or a bad person?

• Do you feel you have to constantly overlook your partners flaws in order to be around them?

• Are you frequently accused of being “moody” or “hard to please”?

• Do your partners complain that “nothing they do is good enough?

• Do your partners appear to avoid you when you are angry or upset rather then comfort you?

• Do you negatively comment on their intelligence or appearence? Either in private or in front of others.

• Do you blame them when someone goes wrong?

• Do you ever use phrases like “I could just hit you right now” or “I”m so mad I could punch something”?

• Do you ever punch walls/throw things in front of your partner/etc?

• Do you leave during fights and not inform of where you are going and when you will be back?

• Do you behave the same alone with your partner that you do if you were in front of your friends or in public?

• Have you frequently accused your partner of being too sensitive?

• How often is your partner praised and complimented by yourself?

• Do you think your partner spends too much time with friends and family?

• Do you feel your partners friends and family are trying to drive you apart?

• Do you actively comfort your partner when they are upset or angry even if you don’t really understand why they feel the way they do?

• If your partner brings up a behavior that bothers them do you respond by discussing how to change it or do you respond defensively?

• Do you have difficulty apologizing?

All of these things are abuse tactics. Obviously even the healthiest of us will do these sometimes but if any one becomes a regular habit that’s when the problem starts.

this is super important, i feel like this website makes it easy to put yourself in the role of the victim but never the abuser. It’s also important to note that being a victim does not preclude you from being an abuser.

I find this esp. important. I’ve exhibited some of these behaviors. I know abuse perpetuates abuse and that victims of abuse learn abusive behavior. I also know that having mental illness can make reacting and dealing with feelings even more difficult. That being said: being mentally ill does not mean you cannot be held accountable for your actions. Nor does being a survivor of abuse. I gotta take care of myself & heal and recognize how trauma and mental illness plays a role in how I treat others. Being a victim doesn’t mean you cannot be an abuser too. 

this is the most important post on this website.

Thank you for this.

Very important

Posted 3 months ago With 61,217 notes

spoonitate:

WTF = What The Freak
OMG = Oh my golly!
GTFO = Grab That Fancy Octopus

Posted 3 months ago With 178,941 notes

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

Does anyone else fill up with dread when you realise your guy friend has a crush on you, because you’re now going to be socially obligated to provide him with additional emotional labour if you don’t want to suffer social sanctions for not fulfilling your gender’s role of managing men’s feelings?

Men who are attracted to women routinely make their crushes a problem for the women they’re aimed at. If they possess the basic understanding that they’re not entitled to a woman’s interest - which honestly can’t be assumed - they still generally feel entitled to her time and emotional labour.

They expect explanations, a chance to ask questions about her lack of interest, and perhaps even a chance to convince her to “give him a chance”. They expect to be let down in the gentlest, most complimentary way possible, to have their feelings managed every step of the way by a woman who did not ask for this interest or the job of handling it.

This is one form of male entitlement, a near-ubiquitous form of misogyny that’s so embedded it often goes unnoticed. Men, think critically about the expectations you have of a woman you’re interested in. Are you making your feelings her problem, or are you managing them on your own like a respectful adult?

No one likes to be rejected. But it’s not the job of the person rejecting you to comfort you about it or listen to heartfelt confessions they don’t want to hear. Your interest doesn’t mean they owe you. Find someone who consents to giving you that emotional labour; don’t demand it from someone you’ve trapped in an awkward situation. Let “no” be enough.

Posted 4 months ago With 23,701 notes

j0ye:

thelilysparks:

It’s amazing that people will see a kid yelled at or manhandled by a parent and say “It’s not my business, you can’t tell someone how to raise their kid” but if someone lets their son wear a dress it’s a public discussion.

THIS IS VERY RELEVANT

Posted 4 months ago With 454,704 notes